Review: Bad Self Portraits delve into the mind with ‘I Think I’m Going to Hell’ debut

Much of indie rock band Bad Self Portraits‘ new record, I Think I’m Going to Hell, would pair nicely with Phoebe Bridgers’ Stranger in the Alps. The four-piece (Ingrid Howell, Cole Kempcke, Connor Paintin, and Jesse White) delights with static moodiness and a hypnotic analog-like haze. Across nine tracks, their debut reaches into the deepest and darkest corners of the human experience. Mental health, grief, and religious/family trauma play key roles in the thematic scope of the album, inviting the listener to examine the lyrics and find their own place within such a troubled world.

“How do you live in a safe space? / I am anxious just standing at my door,” admits Howell over palpitating percussion and flecks of guitar. With “To Love & Get Lost,” the outfit let ragged breaths escape their lungs, lugging out the album’s finest downcast moment. The follow-up and closer “Casio,” which deals heavily with depression, dances in muted rays like a cartoon flipbook. “An anxious motivator, the depressive keeping score,” Howel sings. “They could see your face doused in a misty shadow.” That emotional exhaustion feeds a record as bombastic as it is delicate.

From the speaker-bursting “Table Tennis Champion” to the bristling “Then & Now,” many songs play as explosives being set off in a barren, midnight sky. Poking through the fabric are several other hushed moments, including “Ellery” and “Windowsill,” that demonstrate their sharp storytelling at its best. “I wanna get back who I was before you got sick, and I forgot myself” rings like a death knell. Guitars build and build on the verses before retreating for the sobering confession in the chorus. Instrumentals, such as the blistering guitar solo here, serve to emotionally tighten the screws of the record.

Eight years is a lifetime in the music business (they formed in 2017), so I Think I’m Going to Hell feels like a special moment in time. Gathering together their four separate talents, Bad Self Portraits dig their teeth into the music as though their lives depend on it. And perhaps, they do. Art is often a cathartic, demon-exorcising experience. Based on the album’s themes, there’s no doubt the group worked through past traumas and death to come out the other side with a collection to be incredibly proud of.

I Think I’m Going to Hell just enjoyed its digital release last week and follows a vinyl-only issue at the end of August as part of the Buy Before You Stream initiative.

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