Interview: Crystal Clayton dances with the devil

Low on creative currency, high on pain and an ache to write, mid-west darling Crystal Clayton cashed in everything she had with a risky move to the sun-soaked west coast. Los Angeles is the grand mecca for thousands of dream-chasers seeking fame and fortune all at the expense of their art. Even considering the transitory, slippery state of the music industry these days ⏤ although year-end stats may suggest a rebound ⏤ the influx of aspiring singers, songwriters, musicians and producers continues to swell. “All I wanna be is strong,” Clayton transfixes with her piano-hooked ballad “Pieces,” which serves as an appropriate book-end to her new EP. 3 AM clutches relentlessly onto moody house-fused vibes, high-octane emotional heft seemingly gurgling and pulling at the listener. Having issued two previous extended plays in recent years, sometimes hitting the bullseye, other times missing the mark, the transplant finds a smokey, addicting groove across all five songs. It’s a flying-under-the-radar kind of conversation piece, but underscores the kind of bravery she’s more than willing to expose with fiery, trembling raw nerve.

“I feel more proud of this project than I have ever felt about my music before. I feel like this project is a force to be reckoned with, and I feel like in making this project, I am a force to be reckoned with in the music industry,” she writes to B-Sides & Badlands over email. “Breaking in is a very difficult process and getting people to pay attention is very difficult.” That breezy confidence is wrought from years of toiling the metaphorical earth to excavate her own truths buried six-feet in personal ruin and an industry that makes it damn near impossible for women to stake a claim and gain significant traction. “I’m determined to make them listen to me because I feel like I have proved something to myself now. I know my capabilities, and I know that, given the right opportunities, I have the potential to make a huge impact on this industry,” she says. “This project has lit a fire in my belly, and there’s really no going back from here.”

“Is It Me?” emits a slinky hiss, one which sinks into Clayton’s full, unadulterated potential to compete in the mainstream marketplace ⏤ while the titular cut glows with a stern, unwavering hand in demonstrating the arc of her emotional journey to-date. “Running from my past / Running from myself,” she admits, also permitting the synths to mimic her heart-weary tears. The disruptive banger “Falter,” featuring producer Bam Keith, and “Mine” are suitably sterling extensions of her burgeoning songcraft, vibes that pound hard and stick in the air like orbs. Amidst her most audacious compositions, there is a palpable weight given to each syllable, each note, each beat, as if it’s all or nothing. And it is. Truly.

“I think that songwriting is always therapeutic for me, and it gives me so much peace about situations from my past. Also, it gives me confidence in myself and my abilities,” she says. “Writing this project is a testimony to my development as an artist, and I am so proud of that. I have already started working on new material that just keeps growing from where this project left off.”

Clayont is the kind of starstruck arrival that is ready and more than willing to take up the mantel of a new boundary-pushing generation. Below, she speaks candidly about her journey from middle America, building her vibe-y aesthetic, calling forth such an intoxicating daredevil spirit and the costs for releasing music.

In talking about the EP, you’ve said it’s a celebration of life and not taking even the small moments for granted. Was that a long journey for you, personally?

It has been a long journey, and it’s a journey that I’m still on. I have grown so much over the years, artistically, and I hope that I continue to grow and develop. It’s difficult for me as an artist to be proud of the small moments and the small achievements when I feel like there is so much more that I want to achieve. I’m learning to love these moments and be happy with the small steps that eventually lead to big strides in my career.

Along with producer Bam Keith, the EP oozes with vibes on vibes on vibes. Did you have certain feelings or emotions you wanted to evoke with certain beats?

Bam and I really worked together on creating the vibe of each song, and he did a great job of conveying the right feel, musically. With “Mine,” there is a sexy/feisty nature of the song; for “Is It Me?,” there is this feeling of taking on the world and confidence. “3:AM” is sexy but also has attitude and a sense of longing and sadness because we know that the toxic relationship won’t last. Each song has a unique energy, and I’m really happy that it was portrayed that way.

“Pieces” is a piano-based ballad. It’s quite an evocative, subdued performance compared to the rest of the music. “Even when I have my low, I try to hold on tight,” you sing. What provoked you to write this song?

Bam suggested that the project have one ballad to show our range as producer and artist. I had written “Pieces” about a week before on my guitar, and I hadn’t really known what to do with it. We started messing around with him playing piano and me singing the song, and it worked really well. I personally have always struggled with anxiety and depression, and the song was based off of that. Sometimes, I get into this weird head space where I don’t know what to do with myself and everything seems like it’s falling apart. But I’m just trying to hold it all together.

This moment strikes me as being the vulnerability shining behind a wall that’s present on the rest of the project. Did you find yourself needing that kind of emotional cap?

I am a very emotional person, in general, which plays into my artistry. I think a lot of artists and creatives are very emotional, and that’s how we are capable of tapping into those emotions and empathy. For me personally, I have struggled a lot to keep going in this industry when the opportunities seem like they aren’t presenting themselves or people who I’ve trusted to help with my career had ulterior motives. It’s difficult to keep going when there are so many roadblocks, but for me, I don’t have any other choice. I have to keep it together and just keep on with the process.

To balance the vulnerability of “Pieces,” you possess a swagger and command on the rest of the record. Is that something that’s easy to tap into?

I guess it’s a bit strange because I can tap into that edgy, confidence that you hear in “Mine” and “Is It Me?” pretty easily, but at the same time I can lay out all of my emotions and vulnerability through “3:AM” and “Pieces.” The Crystal on stage and in the recording booth is a different Crystal than just the normal me. I don’t really know where it comes from, but I think it’s just part of me expressing myself in different ways through my music. It’s fun for me to create different aspects of music that different people can relate to and vibe with.

Keith spits some lyrics on “Falter.” Was performing a song together much different than working with him as strictly a producer/co-writer on the other songs?

Bam and I had a lot of fun with the creative writing process of all the songs on the project. He had released his own solo project a few months before that he had produced, and he rapped all of his material. I just thought it made sense to showcase him as an artist since he was breaking out of strictly the “producer” roll and coming into his own as an artist. It wasn’t really any different than writing the rest of the project. I trust him, musically, and know that whatever he’s cooking up is gonna sound fire. He just has a very unique style, and I really vibed with that.

The title song is one of the most compelling entries, musically. It has a starry aesthetic that keeps the club vibe threaded but there’s something quite emotional about your vocal. What is the story of this song and your journey here?

The story behind “3:AM” is kind of a true story in that I’ve been there so many times, but it never happened exactly like that. It’s just that moment when you have the realization that a relationship is not going to work out, but you love this person and don’t want to let it go. It’s toxic and messy, but the love gets you “high,” and you’re just savoring your time with this person. It has to end, but right now you still have it.

I think there are layers to this song. In one line, I say, “Get outta town, best get outta town / Running from our past, running from ourselves.” I had this image of a couple in a crazy relationship trying to “run away” together. They were just thinking that by running away together they could escape their past…really they are just running from themselves.

What is most evident throughout the entire runtime is that you’ve been through a lot in your life, as much bliss as pain. You walk that line quite well, as you explore various club-ready moods while making sure the lyrics and emotion is there. Is that something you’ve really aimed to strengthen since your previous two EPs?

I think I’m just constantly growing as a songwriter and learning to better convey the messages I want to send through my music. I’m a sucker for a song with a great hook and a vibe. I wanted to create music that really expresses what I have going on in my head but could still be sexy and fun and edgy. I’m always aiming to better myself as an artist, and I hope to continue to create music that evolves into better and better versions of my creativity.

Do you feel you have to give something of yourself for the world to experience your journey?

Oh, definitely. When you create art, especially music, you are putting bits and pieces of your mind, heart and soul out into the world for others to dissect. It’s a level of vulnerability like no other. You are opening yourself up and letting other people into these weird places of your mind where you have drawn ideas out of the most intimate places. I’ve written songs coming out of my sleep, in my bedroom late at night; I’ve come up with ideas while driving to work.

When I write my songs, I have the most intimate time with myself because I’m putting words to my emotions, and I share that with anyone who is willing to listen. Some people rip that apart, and some people embrace and love you for it because they learn about you through your music. It’s a weird process if you think about it.

In promotion of this EP, you’ve also spoken about how much you’ve struggled in the music business. How do you keep yourself both grounded and focused on going to the next level?

I’m not going to lie that is the most difficult aspect about what I’m doing. I really don’t know many people in the industry right now. Staying positive when the doors you want to open aren’t opening and sticking with something that pays off with just baby steps can be frustrating. I don’t really have much of a choice but to keep going because I believe in myself and my capabilities too much not to. I have invested so much of my time, energy, life and finances into my music career, and I have to stay positive and motivated or it wouldn’t have meant anything. I really have wanted this my entire life, and I want nothing more than to be able to make music and perform my music as my career.

Along those same lines, what’s been the toughest lesson you’ve learned so far?

The toughest lesson I’ve had to learn is that people do not always have your best intensions in this industry, and often they take advantage of artists because they know our passion for what we do. Artists are so passionate, and we will put just about anything on the line to be able to do what we love.

I think being smart about business and spending your money and time on the right investments is very important. Learning to trust your gut, and if you have any doubt or uneasiness about a situation, trust that feeling! I don’t know any certain formula for anything. I’m learning along the way.

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