Interview: Logan Avidan molds her heart into art

“Left My Heart” bounces into the sky. It seems appropriate then that the song sprouted when singer-songwriter Logan Avidan was flying high above the earth. Mid-flight, she got to thinking about “how some people in my life had proven not to be who I thought they were,” she says. “I was stuck in a cycle of self-judgment and negativity that wasn’t serving me. I realized that I had been carrying a weight of darkness from others and myself. I needed to let that go to move forward.”

She quickly recorded a voice memo on her phone. Once she touched down, she met up with co-writer and producer John Eatherly to finish it up. And the rest is history. “Left My Heart” is dreamy and elastic, as Avidan’s voice is equally as rubbery and smooth. She’s exact in her vocal inflections, always giving the words a punchiness (when necessary) or delivering more fluidity. Either way, it’s the sort of kinetic pop track that you can’t forget no matter what you do.

“To make a dream a reality, it’s a dream,” she sings, barely above a whisper. In talking about the song previously, Avidan remarked how the song also burrows deep into risk-taking and living life on the edge. For her part, she’s used to making a big splash when you least expect it. “I think the biggest risk I took so far was moving to NYC when I was 17. I didn’t know anyone who lived here when I moved,” she tells B-Sides & Badlands. “I was diving Into a world of uncertainty. I was choosing that experience after high school instead of taking the normal college route, and I had to prove to myself (and my parents) that it was the right decision.”

Writing “Left My Heart” came at the perfect time, allowing the singer to wash away her fears and learn exactly what it would take to forge ahead. “I think change can definitely be scary. The initial reaction is oftentimes fear, but at the same time, a life without change is even more scary,” she muses. “Acknowledging the change you’re going through and taking control of the wheel will make it a worthwhile ride. Writing [this song] was my sort of therapy to get over that fear and take chances.”

On its own merits, “Left My Heart” signals an artist stepping into the sunlight. It’s a ferocious, biting anthem with grinding guitars and a piercing lead vocal. That’s a recipe for stardom. But Avidan can’t help but feel the pressure to hit big numbers with the release. “I think my biggest qualm is that it sometimes feels like a numbers game. Instead of comparing art, people are comparing how many numbers they have. Everyone’s concerned about how many views they have, how many followers, how many streams, etc. While the Internet is a great place to share art and ideas, I think it can also get people down if they get caught in the comparison trap.”

For the accompanying visual, directed by Cait Durra, Avidan celebrates her sense of self through several costume changes. “All the characters in the video represent a side of me. The cowgirl is the part of me that wants to be wild and free,” she explains. “The cheerleader is the part of me that is rooting for myself and looking on the positive side. The CEO businesswoman is more serious. She can be hard on herself, but she gets things done. The rockstar represents my angst and the part of me that needs to shout and let it all out.”

Below, Avidan discusses shooting the video, defining records, and finding her sound.

From making TikTok videos to shooting a video, is there any real difference? Or do you find the latter far more difficult to pull off?

I think they’re very different. TikTok videos are more in-the-moment clips. When I’m shooting a music video, there is a lot of thought and work that goes into it. I dive deep into my head to find the best way to represent the song and my message. Sometimes, I find it harder to get a point across with only a 10-second TikTok video. I like to tell a story with my songs, and making music videos is my favorite way to do that. Also, I grew up being obsessed with music videos so there’s a nostalgia to it.

What did you learn from Cait Durra in the process?

I learned a lot about collaboration and teamwork. I learned that it’s so important to not be too precious when you’re working with others. You never know when someone is gonna have an idea you can bounce off of. During the editing process, we had such a blast finding new ideas. She taught me how fun it can be working on something when there’s no ego involved.

What does the rest of Hot and Bothered feel and sound like?

‘Hot and Bothered’ feels like a glimpse into my world of imperfections and challenges with this nostalgia for youth and expectations. All the songs feel like they could be blasted in my childhood bedroom. It’s a world of loud guitars, intimacy, bright pink, and playful rebellion.

Is there an arc to the record or is it more a collection of thoughts?

‘Hot and Bothered’ started as a collection of thoughts, but as it grew and I started honing the track list, the arc sort of naturally revealed itself. The record feels like a movie in a way. There’s a beginning, middle, and end. Each song is like a scene that encapsulates a different head space. From empowered and sexy to doubtful and vulnerable to tender and sweet, [the album] takes you on a journey through my inner psyche.

Since you started the album process, what have you learned the most? And how has that affected your songwriting?

At first, I would write all of my songs on an acoustic guitar, but as I got deeper into the album, I started writing lyrics and melodies without any instruments. And that really opened up a whole new world of songwriting. Suddenly, I didn’t have any limits on how I wanted things to sound. And with that, I learned so much about singing and finding the best place for my voice to come through. I also learned a lot about patience. In the beginning, I would get frustrated easily and as time went on, I learned to relax more and to be present in the process of recording the same line over and over.

What went into cementing your sound?

My intention in the studio is to make something that I would want to listen to. That definitely makes it easier and more fun. I think the lyrics I wrote naturally lend themselves to my sound. It’s really important to me for the music to complement what I’m trying to say. I’m always looking for that indefinable and unique quality that makes my ears perk up.

What records define your life?

‘Jagged Little Pill’ by Alanis Morissette, ‘Born to Die’ by Lana del Rey, ‘The Black Parade’ by My Chemical Romance, ‘She Hangs Brightly’ by Mazzy Star, and ‘Bury Me at Makeout Creek’ by Mitski are just a few!

Follow Avidan on her socials: Instagram