Review: ‘Scare Package’ is bloody (and fucking) hilarious
Now on Shudder, this anthology series pokes fun at horror and genre tropes.
(Shudder)
One wrong turn, a horror-comedy anthology becomes a laughing stock rather than a laugh riot. Fortunately for us, Scare Package buries firmly six-feet deep in the latter with a series so smart and trope-poking that it’ll tickle the funny bone before making you nauseous. “Seven Directors. Seven Tales of Terror. Zero Working Cellphones” reads the official film poster, priming the viewer for its hyper-satirical goofball mania. It’s certainly a tall order, and the seven short films function with sturdy singularity but contribute essential conversations to the overall whole. It’s not that the filmmakers ⏤ Emily Hagins, Chris McInroy, Hilary & Courtney Andujar, Noah Segan, Baron Vaughn, Anthony Cousins, and Aaron B. Koontz ⏤ are breaking new ground, but it’s the sharp-toothed way they rearrange their favorite genre with keen wit that is most refreshing.
Buckets of blood and guts soak nearly every segment, gratuitously celebrating the art of practical effects, an integral part of why we all love the genre so much. Special makeup effects craftsman Tate Steinsiek (Clash of Gods, Satanic Panic) works his magic with delightful visual annihilation ⏤ from body-melting transformations to classic slasher butchery (and everything in between). His technical prowess on full display, the films, referencing everything from A Nightmare on Elm Street to Slumber Party Massacre, whisk zero to 180 with neck-breaking storytelling and the gritty charm of classic ’70s and ’80s horror.
Hagins’ “Cold Open” sets the moody scene, retooling John Carpenter’s Halloween with a Scream-on-steroids enthusiasm. A stock character actor down on his luck, Mike Myers (Jon Michael Simpson) longs for his big break on the silver screen and decides to re-write the story, plopping himself down into the lead role. Of course, nothing quite goes as planned, as it rarely does in horror, and he’s left only with blood on his hands.
And that’s just the scrumptious appetizer.
Such a tasty introduction whets a deep craving for a smorgasbord of delectable, eye-gouging entrees. The wrap-around story “Rad Chad’s Horror Emporium” (directed by Koontz) winks at Joe Bob Briggs and the horror host’s wealth of genre knowledge, presented through the eyes of video rental shop owner (and resident JBB fanboy) Chad Buckley (Jeremy King). After he hires Hawn (Hawn Tran) as a new store clerk, Chad’s collection of VHS tapes become the crux of the anthology, a structure allowing breathing room between each narrative.
Where “One Time in the Woods” (McInroy, We Summoned a Demon) lands directly in the path of the Backwoods Slasher, an obvious nod to camp-themed bloodbaths (Friday the 13th, namely), moon howlin’ thriller “M.I.S.T.E.R.” (Noah Segan, Knives Out) applies the hairy, werewolf feature to toxic masculinity (while also tossing in some old fashioned satanism for good measure). Then, Courtney and Hillary Andujar team up on “Girls Night Out of Body” for what is dubbed a “post-modern feminist slasher body horror,” commenting on not only slumber party massacres but cursed artifacts. It all quickly unravels when you least expect it, allowing the audience to bask in its expected, yet very welcome, twist.
Perhaps the lineup’s most inventive, “The Night He Came Back Again! Part IV: The Final Kill” sees director Cousins ramping up the absurdity, head-butting sequelitis and the notion main protagonists rarely confirm the killer’s dead. It’s an absolute slaughter, as our lead Chloe (Julie McCarthy) tries any manor of devices (stabbing, electrocution, dismemberment, etc) to make sure The Killer (Tommy David) is indisputably down for the count. Next, Vaughn’s “So Much to Do” cuts to the heart of spoiler and fandom culture, a body-snatching match-up with plenty of action and a very slippery ending. Scare Package lastly bookends with a Cabin in the Woods hook for Koontz’s “Horror Hypothesis,” a reconfiguration of his earlier “Rad Chad’s Horror Emporium” setpiece ⏤ packed with a cute Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter shout out and one helluva explosive finale.
When the credits final roll, “Everybody Dies in the End” blasts through the speakers, one last Sharpie underline for the film’s entire thesis. Scare Package is bloody, spooky, and campy fun. It is the definition of what a good anthology should be.
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