Interview: St. Lundi opens his heart with ‘Say So’

St. Lundi couldn’t cope. The whirlwind of emotions nearly swallowed him whole, leaving him lifeless and catatonic. After falling out with his father, they didn’t speak for five very long years. To say it took a heavy toll on Lundi is an understatement. “I really struggled for years, and I think in the moment, you shrug it off but looking back I was very lost,” he says, adding that the two have since reconciled and are “really close now.”

But that first phone conversation took an immense amount of courage. “I remember calling him for the first time and feeling so nervous of what he would say, or whether he would even answer,” St. Lundi tells B-Sides & Badlands. “I think there’s always that scary feeling inside that you’re gonna get hurt again.”

The relationship was “definitely pretty awkward for a while,” he continues, “especially the first time we met in five years. It was kind of hard to know what to talk about because I’d moved out of my hometown and into London since we last spoke. I’d even started writing my own songs for the first time, so he didn’t even know that I was pursuing music. There was a lot to catch up on.”

With his new piano ballad “Say So,” St. Lundi opens the floodgates of his heart to wax honest and raw about his relationship with his father. He doesn’t necessarily reopen old wounds, but he peers through the lens of new-found understanding as a way to comprehend exactly how he changed over those five years apart.

“There’s a world upon this map and it’s fading / Every time I look around, yeah, it’s changing / And I don’t know where to be without you,” he sings in the first verse. By the time the hook comes around, he’s already chest-deep in the rising flood waters of the relationship. “If you love someone, go ahead and say so,” he sings, letting the song swell, “’cause soon they might be gone, and you’ll wish you’d said so…”

His voice lingers in the air, like an acrobat teetering on a wire high above the earth. He almost loses his balance, but he’s agile enough to tip-toe along with great ease.

“Say So” samples his debut album, titled The Island, slated for release later this year.

Below, St. Lundi discusses why he chose to write the new ballad, lessons learned, and The Island.

What did you learn about fatherhood in those five years?

I wouldn’t say that I learnt a lot about fatherhood, but more so about myself and how much I needed that father figure. I started working at an SEN school in London, and started to learn about why people act a certain way. When a child was having a bad day, it could sometimes be because of what was happening at home. I realized that maybe the reason my dad wasn’t so good at talking to me because he lost his father when he was 13, and that’s why I reached out.

You’ve mentioned how “he’s not so good at talking.” Has he opened up to you since you two reconnected?

I’ve seen such a massive change in my dad in the past five years and how he communicates with me now for the better. I don’t know if time is making him go soft, but our relationship now is better than it’s ever been. I think the fact that I’ve learned a lot about myself, and how I want to communicate and act means that we’ve both grown together. I feel so lucky to be able to write them in songs as it lets me process so much.

Why write “Say So”?

Well, my debut album, ‘The Island’ ended up being all about my life in a very autobiographical way. When I was 21, I ran away from home and at the time felt like I didn’t want anything to do with it, but now when writing this album I’ve returned home in a way and I feel so proud to be where I’m from. Everything I talk about in this album is things that I’m sure so many other people have been through! From the day my parents told us they were splitting up to not talking to my dad for years, I hope that people out there who need to hear the songs get the chance to hear them and can heal in the same way that I have when writing them. 

What does your father think of sharing such a personal part of yourself with the world?

It’s something we’ve not really spoken about too much. I feel like I’ve done my best to not share too many personal factors. One of the reasons for that is that I want other people to be able to hear their own story in the songs and secondly, some stories aren’t mine to tell. I think that my dad has seen how much I’ve healed while writing this album and for that, he supports it fully. 

Musically, what did you want the production/instrumentation to evoke? Did it come together pretty easily?

I feel like each individual song I wanted to go in whichever way it felt natural and I wrote the songs more for the story than the sound. When putting the album together, I spent quite a lot of time mapping out how it could flow really nicely from song to song. One thing I ended up doing was working on these interludes which will let you hear some conversations I’ve had with my family and give you an idea of what the song is about before it plays. I think there are so many emotions you can feel from this album from sadness to euphoria. I hope that it can take people on a journey and we can replicate that same feeling when I play the album live as those are the moments I live for.

Four years ago, you’re debut single arrived just as the UK hit lockdown. How did you learn to grow your songwriting, and what did you learn most about the craft?

Yeah, it was a strange time, but for me, it did give me a lot of time to learn and I think I was writing about five songs a week at the time… minimum. I also fulfilled my lifelong dream of learning how to play piano which has really impacted the way that I write songs today. Songs of mine like ‘nights like this’ came from sitting at the piano and creating a melody with my hands! Being able to express my emotions by playing an instrument is such a blessing. 

How does “Say So” fit onto your debut album?

I feel like ‘Say So’ fits so nicely into the album and was actually one of the last songs I wrote for it. It’s become one of my favorite songs to play live and really kind of sums up something I’m super passionate about which is telling people that you love them! 

What’s the scope (thematically, musically, etc) for The Island?

The island is all about my life up until now. From the day that my parents told me they were splitting up when I was 12 to running away from home at 21 and living in London with nowhere to stay pursuing my dream of music as someone that was quite lost at the time! To then finding myself within the music  I was writing, learning from some incredible people along the way, and finally mending relationships and healing from everything that had happened since that first day. This album feels like both the end of that chapter and the start of the next. 

Do you feel you’ve walked away from the process a different person?

Both yes and no. I feel like such a different person than I was five years ago, but in a weird way, I feel like the person that I was when I was born into this world and where I am right now is exactly who I was meant to be. I don’t mean that in any kind of egotistical way, but I feel so at peace with myself now and I hope that my music can bring that to other people.

Follow St. Lundi on his socials: Instagram