FrightFest 2020: ‘There’s No Such Thing as Vampires,’ a solid showcase for Josh Plasse

Vampires are chameleons if you think about it ⏤ or at least the concept of one. In many cultures, a vampire is a literal undead creature that feeds on blood; in others, it takes more subtle or allegorical forms. As you’ll find in Mary E. Wilkins-Freeman’s short story “Luella Miller,” the so-called vampire sucks on energies, zapping sustenance from souls rather than blood. Or take Hanns Heinz Ewers’ “The Spider,” in which the vampire may not be an actual vampire at all. You see, vampire folklore is a breeding ground of boundless creativity. Now enter: Logan Thomas’ There’s No Such Thing as Vampires, a new feature playing this year’s FrightFest.

With a script co-written with Aric Cushing, the film plops the viewer right in the middle of intense, heart-throbbing action. Josh Plasse plays Josh, our hunky, on-the-run hero, whose path has taken him directly into the eye of a grisly-looking predator. We’re never clued into why, exactly, the film’s pivotal protagonist is on the hunt, and maybe we’re not really supposed to ⏤ well, until the a series of third-act revelations.

The opening sequence is a non-stop thrill ride, as Josh dodges across town in attempts to allude the unknown creature. He even pops into a local movie theatre which happens to be playing the iconic 1922 film, Nosferatu, and as you can see from the photo (above), Thomas certainly has a knack for tinkering with the past and present and overlaying beautifully unsettling imagery. It’s within such parameters that the film works its magic on the viewer; when Josh hops back into his car, there’s something gnarly grittiness to the cinematography that crawls under the nails.

There’s No Such Thing as Vampires comes to a grinding halt, however. When Josh comes across Ariel (Emma Holzer) on the highway, on her way to a friend’s house, he rams her off the road and then hijacks her car. Nighttime has descended, and while there remains some high-tension moments, giving off a sharp Jeepers Creepers edge, the story feels like a swamp to trudge through. When daylight finally breaks, the duo pull into a church called Salvation: Chapel of the Martyr ⏤ an unnecessary story trick to introduce the harbinger, a nun named Sister Frank (played to nail-biting perfection by Meg Foster). “The dark wind has drained all life from this hell,” she spews a colorful, prescient oration. Even so, she lends them a hand (or so we’re lead to believe). Ariel and Josh are low on gas, and their phones are about to die, and whattya know, the nuns have some gas they can take.

It’s not particularly inspired, and the second act spins its tires even more. They finally arrive to the home of Ariel’s good friend David (Will Haden), and the group, along with Peter (Scott Lindley), get drunk and talk about horror movies. You see, David is the resident aficionado with a deep love of the classics, like John Carpenter’s Halloween and Friday the 13th. An early standout scene makes an obvious nod to Scream, as David corrects Peter on the difference between the originals and the late ’00s remakes. It’s within this horror-comedy side-pocket that the script finds it groove, but too bad there’s not more of it.

Thankfully, There’s No Such Thing as Vampires regains some footing in the third act to recharge with the high-voltage energy found in the opening. It’s the mythology surrounding the beast, played by Cushing, slathered in some delightfully grotesque make-up effects, that is quite compelling and hints at much grander world-building. Josh Plasse undeniably stands at the heart of the film, giving up a true leading man’s performance (even with his shirt on). His best moments emerge in solo sequences, from the sweaty opener to being captured by the monster later in the final act, and his charm captivates the screen, as well.

All things considered, it’s very clear Logan Thomas has great affection for horror storytelling. There’s No Such Thing as Vampires doesn’t gel as a body of work, but there’s still plenty of frightful imagery to satiate any kind of primal hunger.

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