Poem No. 1: Sucker, Almost

Welcome to Poetry, a series highlighting my own work as an amateur poet. All poems and other pieces were originally published on my Patreon page.

This inaugural poem is based on a journal entry from August 5, 2018. Roughly four weeks prior, I realized something about myself: I can stop past traumas from ending my present and those I love. Here is:

“Sucker, Almost”

I liked to eat my own flesh that summer.

June struck severe with hot coals, and the sweat even licked my toes.

Cherry wine hung thick on my speech, the syrup mixing with the burnt stench of match sticks and vanilla.

The flames trembled and stung my nostrils. I took another sip.

The glass rattled between my fingers, and I rubbed the tips together to get rid of the glowing red stains. It was like blood. Drip, drip onto white linens.

The bedframe shook at every slice of my skin.

I paused.

My breath grew heavy, and I emptied the elixir into empty stomach. The sauce coated the lining, and my senses grew foggy, grey and weak.

She barked at the big white thing that opened into the other big white thing; the hallway imposed nightmarish cruelty. She tumbled down the wooden steps, bounding, and laughed at me.

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Cry, cry, she went.

I leaped after. I snatched her up, snarling my lips with disgust.

A demonic growl crawled up my throat and cracked in python lashes, and the venom scalded her backbone.

Cry, cry, she howled again.

Where would you go? I scoffed.

The rage drained from me and oozed like acid, and I let the fire consume her whole. I poured out more gasoline and took another gulp, soaking her lifeless shell with tangy nectar.

I saw myself depart and hover overhead, my mind sour and sharp with knives.

Scorch the sucker, I sputtered.

Cry, cry, she whimpered.

I stopped suddenly. Her pupils reflected back a gnarled old witch, hunched over and cackling with thunderous whacks and stabs. Let her go, spilled from my tongue.

And I did. I let the sucker go. I saw it lurch and tear from my chest and bounce away and down the staircase….

It was gone, and I was dead.

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