Note: Very light spoilers for Prime’s new Carrie show
Content Warning: This story contains a discussion of suicide
Mike Flanagan’s Carrie arrived on October 7 and immediately became a centerpiece of conversation around online bullying, as well as complicity and complacency within a given community. After Carrie decimates the senior prom, killing many of her bullies, she heads home. Screams can be heard from the blazing gymnasium; shrill cries for help fall on deaf ears. Carrie, rightfully, seeks blood for the deep hurt that a community meant to protect her caused by not doing anything.
Like the 1976 film, Billy Nolan and Chris Hargensen see her walking and attempt to run her over. The vengeful telekinetic queen flips the car over into a nearby field. Billy and Chris, the conspirators who dumped a bucket of pig’s blood on Carrie after she was crowned prom queen, suffer fatal, blood-gushing injuries. After Carrie crushes the vehicle, and thus squashing the life out of them, Emaline (Carrie’s new fried) reminds her that she’s allowed to exist. “I exist!” Carrie screams into the cool night air. That deadly moment captures her entire journey, from victim to warrior.
What Happened
If what happened one month ago hadn’t happened, I suppose the show may not have hit me squarely across the chest. On September 14, I found myself at the center of my first-ever online beef, with Fangoria EIC Phil Nobile, Jr. Navigating these uncharted waters was like steering a ship for the very first time. I couldn’t believe it was happening. The blow-up all started when I simply shared a TikTok video from former Fangoria employee Jessica Safavimehr, who detailed her experience around a recent anniversary book event. The original text in the clip are screenshots from a thread she shared on Threads. “I couldn’t even get an invite to the party celebrating the history of Fangoria,” she wrote. She served as the associate published when the magazine made a comeback in 2018.
She continued, “I hope you all enjoy your history of ‘Fango’ but remember folks like me put a lot of work in to make it actually happen. My name probably isn’t in even the book.”
In my Bluesky post, I wrote just seven words: “I’ve always gotten bad vibes from Fangoria.” I neither tagged Phil nor the magazine, but I got a notification that he replied to it. When I checked my phone, he had deleted it and blocked me. After peeping his page, I found a thread he’d just posted. “Fangoria is an exclusive club. I say that with my whole chest,” I wrote on my page. “Does that make me bitter? Nah. I’m sick of white straight gatekeepers in the horror space.”
I also attached Phil’s comments in question:
In my thread, I added, “There might be several LGBTQ+ writers there, but it’s a carefully curated roster of friends.”
He then proceeded to respond:
A few things here, if I may. “Groupchatless grifters” references a campaign to raise money to not be homeless. As a queer person, the idea of being, well, queer and homeless is terrifying. In 2020, UCLA School of Law, Williams Institute published findings from the Generations Study and the U.S. Transgender Population Health Survey. It reported that 8% of trans adults experienced homelessness in the past year (read: 2019). Additionally, 17% of sexual minorities experienced homelessness at some point in their adult lives.
As someone with no family support—99% of my “family” are MAGA and I cut them off, so fuck me, I guess—raising money to stay alive and reaching out to a community that claims to be supportive brought me nothing but shame. And to call it grifting is absurd and demeans people trying to navigate a system built on white supremacy. This energy should be lobbied towards the healthcare system that makes it expensive to even attempt to survive and insane, unlivable inflation, thanks to Trump. Thankfully, a local church offers a food bank once a month, and I’ve been using it for most of 2026.
Writing is my wheelhouse, and to suggest I can “barely put a paragraph together” is laughable. I’ve been a music journalist for 15 years and continue to work with editors I met when I first started. How come I still get work? I must be talented. It’s only been within the horror community that I’ve ever encountered ostracizing for existing in a so-called inclusive space. Taking me out of the equation, I’ve witnessed many queer writers, specifically, be targeted and belittled by Phil and his posse over the years.
To his second post above, I’ll get to that in a bit. But first, “Your own community thinks you suck.” Again, Phil likes to gatekeep and speak for an entire group of people. The amount of messages and replies on my posts since September 14 are staggering. Many have shared similar stories of being flogged by Phil and his posse, and still others extend compassion and support. Seems like Phil is the problem here. If enough people hate you, you should probably look in a mirror. When I talked to my therapist about all this, he suggested that maybe something in Phil’s past leads him to act out in this way. And maybe that’s true. I don’t know Phil’s background or upbringing. They do say: “Hurt people hurt people.”
Have I Ever Written for or Even Pitched Fangoria?
Phil claims that I’ve “NEVER EVEN PITCHED” Fangoria. Writers Sharai Bohannon and Andrew Pope echoed this claim.
Verdict: False
Looking at my email inbox (deadname not included). I first started pitching under my name in 2024. I never got a response until late 2025. Again, I never received a response from subsequent pitches from earlier this year. I’m seeing a pattern here. Blue-starred emails below are pitch emails. With the very first email at the bottom, I was ghosted, and nothing ever came of the story idea.
Oh, and this will blow their minds: I’ve actually written for Fangoria! Last year, a piece titled “10 Indie Horror Films That Are Criminally Overlooked” was published on October 31, 2025. You got me, Phil!
You know, in Fear Street: 1666, Deena (as Sarah Fier) has a line about “if they want a witch, I’ll give them a witch.” If I’m a “monster,” tell me what I have done. I’d like to know, too! Shifting the blame is a page out of Mean Girls 101. Maybe I should just become the monster they say I am…
Two Things Can Be True
Queer writers and Black and Brown writers employed by Fangoria can be hella talented. Before the 2021 We Are Horror fiasco, when the same venomous crew publicly attacked Ryan Larson and Tyler Liston online, chasing them out of the horror community, I deeply respected writers like B.J. Colangelo. She has a way of cutting to the bone when she dissects horror; it’s truly a wonder.
Also true: a straight white man gatekeeps the biggest brand in horror. He decides who gets to write for the publication and appear at various events, and that includes carefully curating a Mean Girls roster. Mean Girls will never admit they’re bullies; it’s quite the opposite. They claim to be the victims, rationalizing their behavior as some sort of Joan of Arc crusade to protect a straight white bro-dude.
There are Pick Mes for a reason—just look at how Trump got elected twice.
The Avalanche
An avalanche of passive-aggressive hate soon followed. Below is a snapshot of posts I was sent, and I’ll address them below.
Responses to the above posts:
1. It’s true that BJ is incredibly talented.
2. Queerness is not without its hatred of other queers. Look at how many white queer people completely ignore the work Marsha P. Johnson and so many other trans icons did for LGBTQ+ people.
3. “Repulsive” perfeclty defines bullying.
4. There’s never been “plenty of room at all the tables for everyone.” It’s exactly why SO many horror writers have started their own blogs and websites; there’s literally no room except for a select few.
5. “It also helps that I have actual opinions and my personality isn’t dictated by whatever is trending.” Here are some writing samples, Sharai! Hope this clears things up!
‘Murder, Anyone?’ and the Violence of Creation
The Dorm That Dripped Blood (1982)
12 Best Horror Movies About Mental Health
‘Cat People’: Society’s Tethering of Queer Sexuality & Identity
This Is The Best Horror Franchise You’ve Never Heard Of
6. “I stepped my shit up like an adult” actually applies to ridding yourself of whatever high school bullshit you’re still holding onto and being an adult.
What Came Next
Content Warning: This section contains a discussion of suicide
Following what felt like all-out war, I closed my laptop, walked to the nearby Walmart, and purchased the biggest bottle of wine I could find. I came home. I drank the wine. I pulled out a full bottle of pills (Lamotrigine) and swallowed them all. I wanted to die. I was determined to kill myself. No one clearly wants me around, so why not give them what they want—or that’s what one of many intrusive thoughts told me. It was like I had to follow orders.
Once the pills kicked in, I blacked out. The next thing I remember is falling head first into the ground. Then another blackout. I woke up around 5:30 a.m. the following morning sleeping in the flower bed beside my apartment. I could barely move. But I dragged myself across my downstairs neighbor’s porch (think: that scene from The Wolf of Wall Street) and up two flights of stairs. It took me about an hour and a half. The cops showed up ~10 minutes after I made it to my front door.
Oh, right, I posted following on all my social media accounts:
In retrospect, I wish I hadn’t posted anything and just done it. I attempted to kill myself again on October 6, 2026. I bought some beer, collected five bottles of various pills, and headed to the cemetery. I sat there for awhile but changed my mind and went back home. I texted 988 and got the support I didn’t have in the horror community. My suicide attempts were directly tied to being bullied by Phil and the Fangoria crew. Suicidal ideation had already escalated 100 fold since 2025, and all I needed was that last push. And I got that push. Hypothetically, if I said I wanted to die while writing this, I would try again, which I won’t.
Let’s be clear: The horror community has a bullying problem, and it’s time to address it.
